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Runner Wannabe to Runner Gonnabe

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This post was originally for the 4th of July but due to unforeseen circumstances I haven’t been able to access my laptop so apologies for my disappearance over the past week.

If you haven’t already noticed my blogs description includes the tag line “a runner wannabe” and hell yeah I am a runner wannabe but I can declare to the world and my readers that I’m a runner gonnabe. Yes, I know its super cheesy but there’s more to the world than wanting something, you need to want it so bad that you fight (not literally) for it and you do everything in your power to do it. That’s what I realised during my a recent run.

I posted that I wanted to start running and I wanted to be coached by my partner who is ex-forces, because it just made sense that way. I didn’t realise at that time that asking him to coach me meant that I was in fact signing myself up for a boot camp as each time I slowed down I was given a set of push-ups and sit-ups to do. I laughed at first thinking it was a joke, FYI never laugh in the face at an ex army recruits with regards to exercise commands… as they make it longer and harder.

I was pretty nervous when we drove up to the forest as it was packed with hundreds of adults and children and I could feel myself beginning to lose my balls. If he had asked I would have easily of said yes to turning back home and forgetting the run, but he never and I didn’t want to be the first to give in. I speed-walked from the toilets (I think it was a nervous pee) to the back of the fields where the forest started. Every step I took meant I was that step closer to the out-skirts of the forest and that would mean I would have to start running soon. All that kept running through my head were curse words and the question “why am I doing this?”.

We started running through the forest and after about 100 metres I had to speed walk as I couldn’t pace my breathing. After I calmed down I started running again and the same thing happened. This went on over and over again and I just thought to myself “what is the point in me doing this? I’m not a runner”. I didn’t have any music with me so I just had my own thoughts to contend with so I had a pretty long time to consider my reactions and the reasons for them. Firstly I already stated that at present I’m not a runner so that part is true and thus the reason why I wanted to run is because I would like to be a runner. That’s my goal. I want to be able to run long distances, I want to be Forest Gump and have that “I just felt like running” moment (hopefully without the growing a long beard part), I would love to take part in a marathon within my life time and also have that reassurance that if for what ever reason there is an Apocalypse, alien invasion or the chance of flesh-eating zombies I know that I would be able to run my butt off to get away.

I realised that I have so many personal reasons (some more stranger than others) for wanting to become a runner I needed to stop being such a girl and freaking run. Giving up and telling myself its ok to do so isn’t going to get me any nearer to my goal, rather it would be going in the opposite direction. Don’t get me wrong I had a lot of “I can’t do this” “Yes I can do this” whispering to myself going on but I stayed positive (mostly) and I did. I kept up with alternating the running and power walks the whole way notching a 3miler on my belt! Love it!

All in all, if you want something (within reasons) do what you can (again within reason) to get it. Don’t just sit back and watch others do it, don’t look back on your life and say “I wish I had done that” as now is the perfect time to start. If you truly want it enough, you will make it happen.



2 responses »

  1. Hi, I too am overweight and trying my hardest to become a runner. I downloaded a couch to 5k app and have been using it for a while now – it’s supposed to take 9 weeks but I’m only able to run once or twice a week. But you know what – I ran my first 5k last week, which is something I never ever thought I could do! Keep it up, you’ll get there!

  2. Wow Jem. Good for you! I love your final paragraph. Think I’m going to write that out and stick it where I’ll see it.


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